Some say “power skills”: communication, teamwork, collaboration, adaptability, conflict resolution, problem solving, and critical thinking.
I would add to this awareness. Maybe even few other things.
And the list is getting bigger and bigger. With every consultant. At the end it seems that We have to learn everything. But everything is quite much. And everything has nothing to do with Pareto Principle.
We have XXI century. Everybody expects from us efficiency.
So, now, any one could, and should, ask: What 20% of communication skills will make my 80% top result?
And what, if it would be just one skill? Instead of dividing, we started looking for a pattern. For a denominator. For something what is in common with all of this.
At the very beginning of creation or codification of this method author did one assumption. Communication processes are universal. In the very core – the same for every human being. No matter of culture, gender or age. We all come from mitochondrial Eve which was living in Africa circa 50 k years ago. It was about mutation in brain and vocals areas. We started creating words. Which stimulated mind development. Which stimulated creation of new words. DSR creator have met on his life road many different representatives of different cultures. From every continent. They all, no matter of culture and language:
- Were asking questions.
- Were telling stories.
- Had moments when they were full of warm emotions.
- Had moments of inner energy which were pushing them forward.
- And all along the road – felt all possible emotions in practically the same situations.
We have recognized two fundamental parameters:
- Left/right hemispheres tendencies.
- Energy of communication preferences.
In both of parameters we have two extremes. And as a conclusion, we have four basic communication styles.
- Inquiring communication style – “left sided”. Precise. Logical. A lot of work on conscious processes.
- Metaphorical communication style – “right sided”. Symbolic. Influencing on unconscious processes.
- Winning communication style – “communication pull”. Warm and enforcing communication style.
- Provocative communication style – “communication push”. Full of absurd. Un-Cohesive. With words we provoke, with voice we send a signal that we are joking, with body language we send approving signals.
Every communication style has it’s thesis, hypothesis and assumptions.
Every of this communication styles, is good in other field. Helps you achieve other goals.
Communication, teamwork, collaboration, adaptability, conflict resolution, problem solving, and critical thinking?
With winning style you will catch better contact. Build reactivity in other person. And create for yourself a way to influence other person. It’s about common values. Positive reinforcements (for example when your partner is opening to you). Positive reaction to “bids” send by partners in relationships.
With metaphorical style you inspire. You make people believe. You use stories, allegories, metaphorical behaviors – or just examples and case-studies. You reach to inner core of the person and you wake up it. People better understands you due to the very analogical way of communication. Essential for good collaboration and mediations.
Inquiring style is full of questions. Open and close. External and internal (dialogue). Even virtual questions which are unconscious. Informative and influencing. Your internal dialogue is full of them. As well as internal dialogue of the person with whom you are talking. If you are in “problem-foced” state of mind, you can switch to “solution-seeker” state of mind thanks to them. You can brain storm with questions. Conflict resolution and problem solving are natural parts of it.
Provocative style through funny “pushing away” creates instead a lot of energy. Connected with mixture of winning style – it is the way, how charismatic people communicate with surrounding. Push and pull. Push and pull. You are doing something good? Positive reinforcement. You are doing something bad? You got instantly feedback. This is what charismatic people are doing. Fast communication exchange. What does it mean “be charismatic”? I understood it, when I used for the first time mixture of both communication styles.
We don’t see seven, or eight, or ten power skills. There is only one skill. It’s called communication skill. And a method to learn it is DSR. One communication skill with four basic faces. Master them, and you will master your communication.
DSR is an answer to:
- Parents who ask themselves – how can I communicate with my kids, to make them happy and successful in future?
- Partners of both genders, any genders, and multiple genders – how can I make my relationship happy, full of enthusiasm and lasting?
- Bosses – how can I motivate my workers and co-workers?
- Workers from foreign countries who have no friends and job – how can I successfully build my life and career here?
And many other questions…